Change in itself causes a great deal of anxiety in many who seek to create new situations and outcomes in their lives. It is the very thing required for success when things are going wrong and it is a stumbling block that can be so wildly misunderstood or resisted that failure becomes inevitable.
If you are seeking to lose weight, quit smoking or create healthier relationships you know that you must change behaviours. You also know that if you do not, you will not reach your goals and sometimes even go backwards or feel as though nothing you do is right.
The question becomes, why would you resist the very thing you need to alter when you want something else? The answer is simple, if you want to create something new in your life, you need to change your attitude. You need to understand what it is you are resisting, and you need to know what you will do to move past that obstacle.
The reason you resist may be purely attitude after a life time of refusals or being angry there may be a part of you that does not want to let go or feels you are giving in to something. It is a representation of the child in us all and the belief that when we grow up we can do what we like, only to find that we can but there is a price to pay. Engaging in damaging behaviours because parents said to eat your vegetables or even because they didn’t, is more about bloody mindedness than it is about being yourself or having freedom of choice. If your choice is to make a change and you have difficulty getting over your self to do so, it is a clear indication that you are tied to your past rather than living in your present.
Angry victims can believe that if they don’t maintain the anger they will have let someone get away with the damage they caused, but in truth they simply become the victim of their own anger and resentment developing poor or toxic relationships and feeling alone in the world. It is such a common theme to be angry, depressed or helpless that it is truly the mark of a free spirit to come past these things. What is needed to do so? A change in attitude so that the tools that are there to assist healing will work and you can move on with your life. Not just on the outside, but on the inside too.
I worked with an obese woman she was undertaking DNA Reprogramming because she was concerned that, after having her stomach stapled and with over 50kg of weight loss, she was returning to old habits. During her sessions she admitted that shopping was a huge problem in her marriage and that she couldn’t even sit and have lunch with her husband without thinking about shopping, a behaviour that appeared after she had hypnosis (with another professional) to control hunger and food choices. We had completed the DNA session of Responsive Patterning when she blurted out that she had been the victim of a pedophile. She had never told anyone about this, it had occurred over a few years but was only occasional so she put it out of her mind. This was a huge release for her and gave her an awareness of what was at the root of her behaviours. The change in her was dramatic, it was a moment of the light going on she went home and told her husband of 30 years and was thrilled to find he was supportive and loving.
Knowing what you are resisting is a powerful tool that can direct you toward your goals and beyond that ensure you are successful in love, career and behaviour changes. I have never really believed that a person who wants to stop smoking hates the idea of not having a cigarette in their hand, or that a person who wants to lose weight genuinely regrets not eating chips. Look a little deeper and you may very well be surprised at the ease with which you can move past the biggest obstacle to change. Yourself!
The Three Gates is a meditation to help you identify and move past resistance that prevents you having what you want or living the life you deserve. Yes, we can resist happiness and move into destructive behaviours, this meditation can be used as many times as you like to help you address known and unknown areas of resistance.
Dorothy is a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist undertaking her training in New Zealand 12 years ago. She has built up a successful practice that includes energy and cognitive approaches along with hypnosis. The Three Gates